Just Short Hops, These

HELLO FOLKS — "That's what I hate about these locals," complained one jet passenger to another. "We've stopped at Chicago, Minneapolis and now Salt Lake City." When a girl starts counting on a guy it only means that his number is up.

—o—

My wife is on real friendly terms with several fairly handsome males. Calls them her boy friends and they seem to feel the same way about her. One big "Stand - up and - bawl - for- mush' even goes so far as to say that he likes to kiss her because her lip stick tastes good.

I am not the jealous kind or I might not stand for it, but I do have a solution. I figure that what is good for the goose is good for One gander. So — I have a few choice gal friends too. Let me tell you about some of them, I won't give their names, for that would be telling.

There is one who is a real beauty. She is graceful as she is shy. Her kisses are divine and she is pretty generous with them.

She has a good friend who I am on good terms with too. She has a perfect figure and loves for me to put my hands around her waist so I can tell her how slim her middle is. Also is proud of her muscles and wants me to feel them.

One other that I must tell you about is a real petite blonde. She has natural curly hair and is a real joy to be around as she always has something to have fun over. She is seldom unhappy and loves to tease.

As you may have guessed by now they are all our children. They all love to tease and are all very lovable.

Family Fun at Petersens

HELLO FOLKS! — I suppose it is only natural that with five lively daughters in the home I should have to take a bit of abuse. Take last week for instance. It all started when I came to the table with my hair standing erect. The kids made fun of it and Zina to cap it off, put a ribbon on it.

As many of you know I have precious hair left, and none to spare. I left the ribbon in the hair after dinner and laid down on the couch to read and have a little nap. When I get sleepy I can go to sleep standing up and I become oblivious to anything going on around.

When I awakened I heard some snickers and knew that something "fishy" had been going on. It took a while for me to get the facts, and it was Merilee who informed, Merilee is my everlasting pal, and besides that she is not good at keeping secrets. She informed me that while I was asleep they had put a ribbon on my chest and a bottle in my arms and taken a picture of me.

I haven't found the film or this story might have ended differently, but I suppose I will get the razzing of my life when the picture gets here.

Living with a houseful of lovely women isn't really too bad. After all is isn't every man who gets to boss around a houseful of them, or be bossed himself. The thing that put the edge on it all is that they have a mischievious mother who encourages all this.

—o—

Our youngest son Brent got the bright idea one day of publishing a newspaper. He was helping me farm and while on the tractor he got it pretty well set in his mind what he was going to write. He calls it the "Hog Town News". Our big hog pasture we call Hog Town. The embellishments are all his and next week this column will be a reprint of what he wrote; or at least a part of it.

—o—

In case you hadn't noticed: the month of May was a wet one. We got 6.3 inches of rain. We had gotten 3.4 in April.

Jared Proves A Big Tease

HELLO FOLKS! — Linnea celebrated her sixth birthday today. A comical incident occurred that made us all laugh. The children had special suits made for Halloween a couple of years ago such as ghosts, leopards, devils, bunnies, etc.

It seems that only the leopard and bunny suits still exist. Linnea claims that leopard suit and Merilee uses the bunny suit for pajamas.

Last night they each had on their favorite costumes. Big brother Jared, who is never slow to tease, bit the tail of the leopard.

Before Linnea would go to bed her mother had to wrap the tail with bandage because it hurt. The bandage was still on this morning when she came to breakfast. It was sort of an honor badge, I guess.

—o—

A MAN'S REAL MEASURE 
By W. C. BRAUN

The place to take the real measure of a man is not in the darkest place or in the church singing hymns, or at his desk, nor in he cornfield, but by his own fireside. There he lays aside his mask and you may learn he is an imp or an angel, cur of king, hero or humbug, I care not what the world says of him: whether it crowns him boss or pelts him with bad eggs.

I care not a copper what is reputation on religion may be; if his children dread his homecoming and his better half swallows her heart everything she has to ask him for a $5 bill, he is a fraud of the first water, even though he prays night and morning until he shakes the eternal hills.

But if his children rush to the front door to meet him and love's sunshine, illuminates the face of his wife everytime she hears his footfall, you can take it for granted that he is O.K. for his home is a Heaven — and the humbug never gets that .... white throne. He may be a rank atheist and red flag anarchist, roller and a mugwump; he may deal 'em from the bottom of the deck and drink beer until he can't tell a silver dollar from a circular saw, and still be an infinitely better man the the cowardly little humbug who is all sauvity in society but makes his home a hell; who vents upon the hopeless heads of his wife and children an ill nature he would inflict on his fellow men, but dares not.

I can forgive much in that fellow mortal who would rather call anger to the eyes of a kind than fear to the face of a child.

Camping at Edvera Farm

HELLO FOLKS! —The Camping bug bit hard at Edvera Farm this year. It started early with the Scouts camp out at Helmer Myre State Park. Then a trip to Spring Valley for the day. Later, Vera took most of the youngsters to White Water State Park for an overnight and nearly two day stay. Last Saturday the Scouts got home from a week at Camp Luck, Wis.

In between that there has been a lot of sleeping out at the farm. The "kids" put a tarp over the picnic table and took turns sleeping there. We have had so many other youngsters visiting us this summer that it was hard to keep track of whether mine were all home and who was here. Of course when ever one of the kids had company they had to sleep out.

Tent In Constant Use

We also acquired a tent this summer and it has been in almost constant use.

A couple of weeks ago Linnea and Merilee, 6 and 4 respectively had a night in the new tent. They came in the next morning completely thrilled. "Daddy! You've just got to sleep in the tent with us tonight — Please Daddy".

It so happened that the next night I had to be gone until late. I wasn't too thrilled about sleeping out. For some unexplained reason, it doesn't thrill me like it did 30 years ago. However for the sake of family solidarity I agreed to spend one night out there.

I got home about 10 o'clock and when the girls saw the car headlights turn in they came out of tent, and made sure I didn't head for my own bed. I still like to sleep in my own bed but it wasn't too bad on the ground with an air mattress between me and "Mother nature."

Poker Face

Merilee, the little "Poker face" is always trying to pull some kind of a joke. Last Saturday she strode into the house and over to me where I was lying on the couch. She held out her hand, "My name is Johnson, I'm President Johnson."

I went along with the joke. "President Johnson, can it really be, I never thought I would see the day when I would have the President of the United States in my own home. Well President Johnson I am certainly thrilled to meet you. What brings you here?"

"I have something for you, some money; a hundred dollars". "Now I know you really are President Johnson," said I.

—o—

Speaking of Merilee, we have a little joke about her. She seems to have her wits about her pretty good. We say that when the Lord passed out the various gifts, He asked who wanted brains. Merilee thought He said rains and said, "I'll take a monsoon".

Daughter's Favorite Pop

HELLO FOLKS! — It seems that I am my youngest daughter’s favorite father.  If that sounds strange, let me remind you that I have very little competition in that field.

It is comical to note how Merilee favors me. If I accidentally hurt her while we are playing she never tells on me. She may go crying to her mother but when she is asked who hurt her she never tells. That is the sign that it was me.

Last Thursday night when we were having family hour, Merilee was passing out the candy. When she came to me she first gave me the same amount as the rest of them. Then as a sudden after-thought she came back and said, “Daddy is bigger, he has to have more,” and she haned me a big handful of candy.

This goes on all the time, and do I love it? You bet I do. I get abused enough around here from everybody else that I need a morale booster once in a while.

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The school’s valedictorian and the senior-class knucklehead met years later, the dumb one driving fine car, wearing fancy clothes and diamonds. His opposite, threadbare by comparison, asked, “How have you succeeded so well, Joe, when you were the poorest student?” “I dunno,” was the reply, “except that I’m a salesman and I buy for a dollar and sell for five — You just can’t beat that old four percent.”

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BY THE time you read this column I will have spent a few days more in St. Paul working on the state Farm Bureau resolutions. I was appointed to the position last winter and we have spent two days, so far, on them.

I consider this an important calling. There is no organization to my knowledge that goes to more expense and bother to try and set in motion the policies and attitudes of the various states and nations law makers.

People are called from various fields of experience to relate their views and it is the duty of the resolutions committee to unwind the facts and come up with wise ideas to be handed the members of the delegate body at convention time for their consideration.

Once the resolutions are formulated it is also the responsibility of the state resolutions committee to answer questions and explain to the convention how the certain ideas were arrived at.

While many organizations come up with many good ideas and these ideas are fought out in the various legislatures and with what we hope is to the benefit of the citizens.

It is my belief that those of the Farm Bureau are the soundest over the years. They are not always the most popular at the time but they generally prove to be right in the long run. The rules are those of fair play and charity toward all. With the desire for a minimum of control and regulation to the insure properity.

Transcribed by Vera Smith